30 May On being sad (and other stuff)
I write a lot about being happy and doing the right thing in order to be as well and as fulfilled as you possibly can be. I have a zillion techniques for working out what you want from life and making it happen.
I even have creative methods for going deep inside one’s soul to work out what’s wrong so as to be able to turn things around.
The only thing is the same techniques that let me identify what’s wrong also help me avoid the feelings that accompany that thing that “needs fixing”. Usually being sad.
You might see it in your Mum when she does everything she possibly can to help you out, in order to avoid the risk of not being needed. Your enormously talented best friend in a job he’s brilliant at but hates, scared to do his own thing in case he gets it wrong. And the boys on a Friday night discussing women over a beer (or five) who nearly admit that actually, maybe, they’d really quite like a girlfriend, if only they were sure they could keep their independence.
If you happen to read What Your Body Wants and learn everything there is to know (or at least lots of what there is to know) about getting your life on track, or if you follow the debutante’s path to meditation in Like (totally) Zen I’d like to add the little footnote that they aren’t about fixing your life or fixing you. Being happy and being healthy isn’t about making the sadness or the loneliness or the neediness go away.
It’s taking a big breath and saying, “Hello world, I’m here”.